


Where No One Can Hear, My Pride Never Speaks

by NevarDevereaux



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:05:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NevarDevereaux/pseuds/NevarDevereaux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheppard may not show emotions, but his ego knows when to hide as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where No One Can Hear, My Pride Never Speaks

**Author's Note:**

> Coda to The Long Goodbye  
> Pairing: Sheppard/Ronon  
> Rating: FRM  
> Warning: Slash, schmoop  
> Summary: Sheppard may not show emotions, but his ego knows when to hide as well.
> 
> I can be found on [Tumblr](http://seekingthecrazy.tumblr.com/).

John watched Ronon closely. Knowing he had almost lost the warrior to two psychotic sociopaths, hellbent on finishing a war which had wiped out both their peoples long ago, infused his soul with guilt. It was his fault Ronon had lay on a cold floor, bleeding out. Ronon would never see it that way, but John would never forget.

He could never forget how Thalan probed his mind for the answers to Ronon's questions. He had pleaded with the entity to lock Ronon away or guide him to another part of the city, away from danger, but no, Thalan enjoyed hearing John beg and taunting him. Thalan had spoken the truth when he told Ronon that John was screaming. What Thalan had left out was what John's pleadings were and how they were punctuated by sobs.

"Don't leave him like this! Please! Call for help!"

"He's a soldier, Sheppard. He knew he'd die in a fight." Thalan's tone had been teasing, amused.

"This isn't his fight. He's already lost every damn thing he ever had! Let him keep his life!"

"Why are you so...attached?"

"He's a part of my team! Where I come from, that's family!"

Thalan had chuckled. "I can see every corner of your mind, John Sheppard. You may not be able to admit it to yourself, but I know the truth. You worry about Weir, Teyla...but this one... If you could have taken over and gotten a shot off, both Phoebus and Weir would be dead. You would have killed them both to save him."

"To protect Atlantis! That's my job!"

"Yes, but loving him? Is that part of your job duties?"

John had no retort. He let his fury and sadness speak for him.

When Thalan called for medical assistance, John had thought the worse. It was too late and the last time he would see Ronon would be as he lay on the ground, needing John and unable to reach him.

******************************************************

Ronon sat on the edge of the pier, long legs dangling. It had been three weeks and he had been given the all clear, ready to return to duty. John sat down casually and handed over a beer. Ronon took it, gulping the bitter liquid.

After several silent moments, Ronon, his eyes still wandering over the expanse of blue before him, spoke. "Was it true?"

"What?" John questioned cautiously.

"That you were screaming?"

John used the beer bottle as a barrier. No, he was not having that conversation. He could not lie, would not, so avoidance was the only alternative.

"He could have killed me."

John refused to speak.

"But you wouldn't let him."

John finally found the courage to look at Ronon, who turned at the same time and returned the gaze. "No, I wasn't going to let him, Ronon."

"It's not your fault."

"Of course not. It's not like I agreed to let some psycho who was living a Star Wars fantasy jump into my head and run around Atlantis in his version of Rambo. Nope. Not me. My stupidity didn't almost get you killed. If I hadn't let him in, Phoebus wouldn't have had an opponent. You wouldn't have been caught in the middle!"

"You didn't know."

"That's right, Ronon!" John's green eyes blazed. He wanted to be yelled at, insulted, blamed, hell, even punched. That's what he deserved. Forgiveness? Understanding? That just twisted the knife which had been buried in his chest for weeks. "I didn't know and I let myself be taken over! I put you at risk because I jumped in and didn't think!"

"Atlantis," Ronon replied easily, setting the beer bottle down and leaning back on his hands.

"What?"

"You put Atlantis at risk."

"Atlantis didn't get shot and end up in surgery! You did!"

John inhaled quickly when he realised what he had said. At that lone moment, he hadn't given one thought to everyone else. All he had seen was Ronon injured, slowly being pulled away from him. He was supposed to be there, have his six, but he was standing over him smirking.

John hung his head in shame. "I'm sorry."

"For me getting shot or for being weird since it happened?"

That was one thing John both loved and hated about Ronon. He was blunt. Dammit.

John gave up, knowing Ronon would just lure him into those types of conversations until his quest for intel was completed. Ronon could get him to do things no one else could, like examine those annoying emotions. Since John was not practiced in dealing with said emotions, when they managed to break free, the ejection was wild, uncontrolled.

"What do you want to hear, Ronon? I was begging for your life? I offered mine in your place? You want me to tell you how he laughed at me for crying because I thought you were dead or on your way? Fine! You heard it! I look at you because I want to make sure you're still here and my mistake didn't take you away! You want to call it weird, fine!"

"Ok."

John's face, and the tips of his pointed ears, flushed deep red. "Ok? Ok! You make me talk about," John flailed his empty hand around," and that's all you have to say?"

"No."

"Look, Chewie, any other time, the one word sentences don't bother me, but right now is not the time!"

"Ok." Ronon reached out quickly, grabbing John by the front of his tee shirt. When John was near enough, two sets of lips met, one hungrily tasting, the other frozen in shock. As seconds ticked, nature took over, calibrating both sides, so they met on the same level of passion.

When the kiss broke, Ronon smirked crookedly as John attempted, lamely, to scowl. "What's so funny?"

Ronon leaned in for another quick kiss before shrugging. "Figured no words would work better."


End file.
